Kalina HycheLet’s be honest, the real mystery every December isn’t who your Secret Santa is. It’s figuring out if this year’s “unit holiday party” is going to be an actual party or a formal dinner where upper leadership shows up in their AGSUs and everyone’s suddenly on their best behavior.
Either way, you’re still showing up with a gift in hand and probably a little glitter on your uniform. So, if you’re staring at your exchange name thinking, “What do I even get for this person?” I’ve got you covered.
Caffeine is the Love Language
Across the Guard, we’ve all got our caffeines of choice. Your MPs are rolling in with Monsters, Ghosts, and probably a Zyn pack or two. Meanwhile, your PAO are sipping Starbucks or Dutch Bros like it’s a lifestyle.
You can’t go wrong with a fun mug, a pack of someone’s go-to energy drink, or even a little “drill fuel” basket. Check your local Exchange for Starbucks gift sets or energy drink bundles, or browse the Commissary’s holiday deals for some festive finds.
Because whether it’s caffeine, chaos, or both, it’s basically how we function.
Tactical Stocking Stuffers
We all know that one person who’s always losing their flashlight. Nothing says “I care about you, battle” quite like a multitool, a Gerber, or another knife. Because can you really ever have too many?
You can find great stocking stuffers in the Exchange Sports & Outdoors section, or grab quick-shipping tactical gear on Amazon. Throw in some 550 cord or a mini first aid kit, and boom. Practical, thoughtful, and guaranteed to get used.
Cozy Barracks (or Office) Vibes
Tell me you’re in the Guard without telling me you’re in the Guard. It’s winter drill, the barracks thermometer is stuck at 65, and you’re layered up like you’re going to the field. Let Santa help your battles out this year with something cozy like a twin-sized fleece blanket or those fuzzy socks that feel like a warm hug.
Or better yet, an extra-long phone charger! Amazon has great charging cord bundles that save the day when everyone’s fighting over one outlet during AT season.
Snack Attack Pack
If you’re getting food, you’re bold. Super bold. But honestly, it’s a power move. Some of the biggest hits I’ve seen across the guard have been the fancy tropical gummy bears, jerky and cheese combos, chips, and gum. All the gum.
You can load up on drill-day favorites and grab those boujee candies and jerky packs from the Exchange’s Food & Gift section.
Oh, and if your unit allows it, and you don’t have anyone under 21, a little bottle of something festive never hurts. Just sayin’.
Bonus Idea: The Big Dill Gift
The biggest hit of our unit’s party last year was the Big Dill gift. I’m talking pickle socks, pickle chips, a pickle ornament, full commitment. It started as a joke and somehow turned into the most traded gift of the day.
You can find pickle-themed gifts and ornaments galore on Amazon or even grab some snackable bites.
Every unit’s got its own vibe. Ours does a $20 limit, but honestly, it’s never about the price tag. It’s about the creativity, the inside jokes, and the memories that make it all worth it.
Wrapping it Up (Literally)
Whether you go funny, cozy, or caffeine-fueled, the best Secret Santa gifts are the ones that make your battle laugh, feel seen, and maybe even say, “Dang, that’s actually useful.”
So, grab your wrapping paper, cue up your favorite holiday playlist, and sleigh this year’s unit party because if anyone can bring the holiday spirit in between drills, it’s the Guard.
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